A week later Huncho was in his apartment watching tv when the window blew open and cold air started rushing into his living room. Huncho got up to go close the window, but before he could close the window a knock came knocking on his door.
"knock"
"Knock"
"Knock"
Huncho went to the door and peeped through the peep hole and saw that it was Quan at the door. Eager to talk Quan huncho quickly opened the door welcoming huncho to his apartment 501.
"Hey man what's up?" huncho asked
"Nothing really just came over here to talk to you and catch up" responded Quan
"Ah ok, do you want a drink?" said Huncho
"of course, what you got?"
"Hennessy, you cool with that?
"yea man pour it up"
Huncho and Quan drank and talked for a while about life, frogs, Mr.Evans, and many things. Just catching up with one another. All of a sudden Huncho remembered there was a circus today and asked Quan if he wanted to go. Of course Quan who was now drunk as hell responded
"Hell yea I wanna go to the F****** circus."
Huncho and Quan walked downtown to the circus and approached the booth to get their tickets, but the clerk could tell they were drunk off their butts and refused to sell them tickets. Quan suggested they try to sneak in, so the two went into an alley trying to find another way in. All of a sudden Quan started chasing a "lion" that he swore was real and loose. Huncho slapped himself in the face to try to sober up and it actually worked a little, then Huncho who was now just a little bit sober saw that Quan wasn't really chasing after a getaway lion he was chasing a frog.
Huncho then grabbed Quan and told him he was acting crazy and that he needed to chill out before he attracted the police and got charged with public drinking.
"Hey you two over there!"
"Stop!"
1. Really good sentence (plot moving, develops character, really nice sentence)
ReplyDeleteHuncho then grabbed Quan and told him he was acting crazy and that he needed to chill out before he attracted the police and got charged with public drinking.
2. Any question you want to ask?
Is Huncho a more grounded person since he was able to stop himself from spiraling while drunk and Quan wasn’t?
3. Something you’re unclear about?
Why did Huncho and Quan decide to get completely wasted instead of just doing a little bit of drinking?
4. One suggestion to develop character
Delve more into what are Huncho’s internal conflicts that he struggles with.
"Hey you two over there!" "Stop!"
ReplyDeleteDoes Huncho have any other friends besides Quan (that aren’t friends 1, 2, and 3 from your first post)?
Where does Huncho work? How can he afford to live in the Foxberry?
Figure out who you want Huncho to be as a character. In what way is he going to grow from his experiences?
"Hey you two over there!" "Stop!"
How long has it been since Huncho and Quan seen one another?
What does Huncho do for a living?
Is there anything that makes Huncho stick out from the rest of the characters? If so make it abundantly clear.
“A week later Huncho was in his apartment watching tv when the window blew open and cold air started rushing into his living room.”
ReplyDeleteDoes Huncho normally drink during the day? And if not, what made him feel like today was a good day to start.
Is the character a deadbeat, does he have any sort of future? At the moment he seems like he doesn’t have a very bright future but that may no be true.
Why was the open window with the cold air blowing in important?
Develop Huncho’s group of friends a little more. What do they talk about, what do they do?
"Hey you two over there!" "Stop!"
ReplyDeleteDoes Huncho have any other friends besides Quan (that aren’t friends 1, 2, and 3 from your first post)?
Where does Huncho work? How can he afford to live in the Foxberry?
Figure out who you want Huncho to be as a character. In what way is he going to grow from his experiences?